| Cancer Wellness Center in the News...
Talking through the toughest moments
Buffalo News
11/3/2008
Henry L. Davis
NEWS MEDICAL REPORTER
After the cancer diagnosis came the panic. No matter how much she tried to remain upbeat, no matter how much encouragement she received from family, Patience Verhague at times found herself overwhelmed...
(Read Entire Article)
Doctors seek ways to share bad news with compassion
Buffalo News
10/21/2008
Henry L. Davis
NEWS MEDICAL REPORTER
All too often, physicians are insensitive to patients’ emotional needs when the diagnosis is grim, and there’s a recognition that their communication skills need to improve...
(Read Entire Article)
Cancer Wellness Center
Over 50 Magazine
8/25/08
By Carol S. Wolf
When I met with Hillary Ruchlin, Executive Director, she shared with me how 23 years ago she was the Patient Service Director of a National Health organization. She became aware of other cancer wellness programs around the country and...
(Read Entire Article)
Coaches share the path to cancer survival
Buffalo News
12/20/2005
By IRENE LIGUORI
News Staff
Cancer survivors Bill Grossman and Betty Zimmerman are among 85 coaches who have stepped up at the Cancer Wellness Center...
(Read Entire Article)
Talking through the toughest moments
Buffalo News
11/3/2008
Henry L. Davis - NEWS MEDICAL REPORTER
After the cancer diagnosis came the panic. No matter how much she tried to remain upbeat, no matter how much encouragement she received from family, Patience Verhague at times found herself overwhelmed by fears of pain and death.
She needed someone to talk to, someone outside her normal circle, someone who had been through what she was about to experience. So, like a growing number of patients with cancer and other chronic illnesses, she turned to a coach.
"You need to know that you can make it to the other side," said Verhague, who has undergone 42 chemotherapy sessions for ovarian cancer and will soon have surgery. Her coach, Barbara Bartle, has talked Verhague through the toughest moments, having been there, done that.
"You can feel sorry for yourself. I did. I cried a lot. But it doesn't help," said Bartle, who underwent chemotherapy and a hysterectomy for ovarian cancer in 1989.
Medical care tends to focus on treating disease and its physical effects. Emotional problems often go untreated, either because physicians don't recognize them or because patients are too embarrassed to talk about their concerns.
Yet there is evidence that without adequate support, such problems as depression, anxiety, insomnia and fatigue can undermine a patient's well-being and ability to recover.
Also, medicine in general is more complex than ever. Patients need help understanding their illnesses, navigating the health system, making decisions and struggling with financial issues related to their illnesses. All of which has given rise to the health coach. >Insurers jumping on idea
Verhague relies on a cancer coach program from Buffalo's Cancer Wellness Center that started seven years ago with one volunteer. Today, the program works with nearly 100 volunteer coaches -- all of them cancer survivors -- and responds to requests for help from around the world.
Health insurers have jumped on the idea, as well. HealthNow New York, the parent company of BlueCross BlueShield of Western New York, two years ago touted itself as the nation's first health insurance plan to offer a health advocacy service as a standard feature for its members.
The idea was to offer members an expert who would be available by telephone and who knows the ins and outs of health care and insurance. Other insurers are now doing the same.
"People need help with the increasing complexity of disease and the huge amount of inaccurate information available over the Internet and elsewhere," said Dr. Jay Pomerantz, senior vice president and chief medical officer of BlueCross BlueShield. Patients often are too embarrassed to call back doctors with the questions."
Patients willing to pay for support and advice also can find an assortment of coaches and advocates who sell their services on the Internet. For instance, Rosalind Joffe, a Newton, Mass., career coach, has carved out a subspecialty at cicoach.com aimed at helping patients balance chronic illness with their work.
"Many professional people with chronic illnesses are reluctant to tell their employers," she said. "They continue working under the radar, yet they are in an environment that expects them to be 'on' 24/7. They struggle with demands of the workplace, the expectation of their co-workers and the needs of their body."
Last year, a major report from the Institute of Medicine that focused on cancer care confirmed what many in the patient-support community already knew -- the health care system is failing to address basic psychological and social issues affecting patients.
"Americans place a high premium on new technologies to solve our health care needs. However, technology alone is not enough. Health is determined not just by biological processes but by people's emotions, behaviors and social relationships," the report concluded.
The report went further, documenting research showing that psychological and social problems can prevent patients from complying with treatment plans and managing their illnesses. It also proposed a new standard of care in which doctors routinely screened patients for distress and referred them for help.
>Support without a group
It was with that gap in mind that Hillary Ruchlin, executive director of the Cancer Wellness Center, started her group's coach program. "Over the years, we found that a lot of patients didn't want to join support groups but did want some form of support," she said. "All you need to do is see a patient and coach meet for the first time to see that it's often a profound moment."
Verhague, a Lewiston real estate agent, turned to the program soon after her diagnosis in late 2005.
Ovarian cancer begins in the ovaries. It is the fifth-leading cause of cancer death in women, and the American Cancer Society estimates that about 15,280 women will die this year because of the disease. Chances of surviving ovarian cancer are better if the cancer is found early. But the disease is difficult to detect in its early stage, with only about 20 percent of ovarian cancers found before tumor growth has spread beyond the ovaries.
Verhague describes herself as an upbeat person with a supportive husband and adult son. But the disease at times left her feeling like a burden or yearning to share thoughts with someone who understood more deeply what she was going through.
She hooked up with Bartle early on, and the two talked on the telephone whenever Verhague felt the need. As she progressed through surgery and chemotherapy, the stress, pain and fear grew, especially as she lost her hair. There were complications and infections. Cancer therapies kill tumors but can also cause debilitating side effects. Verhague spent days exhausted no matter how much she slept. "Every once in a while the fear of dying just grips you out of the blue," she said.
It was 11/2 years of telephone chats between coach and patient before the two met for lunch on a day Verhague traveled to Buffalo for an appointment at Roswell Park Cancer Institute.
If anyone was made for positive thinking, it is Bartle, a retired executive secretary from Cheektowaga who brings to the coach program an outgoing personality -- despite her own health problems.
In the years shortly before her own diagnosis, Bartle's mother, father and uncle all died of cancer.
"I thought I was going to be in the ground in no time," she said. "Now, I tell people to ignore the statistics. If the statistics were always right, I wouldn't be here."
She joined the coach program in 2003, as a way to give back after surviving the disease. "I do the best I can to give people encouragement and hope. It's just about being a compassionate person," Bartle said.
>Improving health literacy
There is more to health coaching and advocacy than emotional support. Many patients have difficulty understanding health information and, as a result, struggle making good medical decisions. One of the key reasons BlueCross BlueShield started its program, which is a partnership with a call-in center operated by Health Advocate Inc., was as a response to growing concern about patients' health literacy.
"We've learned that the health care system is more confusing than we thought it was, and people need help making decisions," Pomerantz said. The fact that physician reimbursement has rewarded doctors more for doing procedures than for spending time talking with patients also contributes to the problem.
"The complexity of the health system is driving the need for more information," said Laura Weil, interim director of the health advocacy graduate program at Sarah Lawrence College. "But with our payment system, doctors have less time to help patients sort through the issues. Patients are looking for other players."
e-mail: hdavis@buffnews.com
Harry Scull Jr./Buffalo News
Health coach Barbara Bartle, right, a cancer survivor, meets with Pat B., a woman she is advising.
Doctors seek ways to share bad news with compassion
Buffalo News
10/21/2008
Henry L. Davis
NEWS MEDICAL REPORTER
All too often, physicians are insensitive to patients’ emotional needs when the diagnosis is grim, and there’s a recognition that their communication skills need to improve.
 One of the hardest jobs in medicine doesn’t require high-tech devices or sure hands. It’s that painfully awkward moment when a doctor has to deliver bad news.
Generally, patients want the facts cushioned by compassion and encouragement. Yet as simple as that sounds, the right words often go unspoken.
Bill McLaughlin of Clarence, for instance, recalls how his urologist called on the telephone with the results of a biopsy that confirmed prostate cancer.
“It was his way of not having to face me,” he said.
McLaughlin likes to say he “fired” the doctor after the encounter.
Rose Hauser of West Seneca still talks angrily about the neurologist who sat her down, pointed out a brain tumor on an MRI scan and told her little more than that she had seven to 10 years to live.
“I’m thinking it’s the end of the world, and he’s just as dry as a bone,” she said.
That was 15 years ago, and she’s still alive.
Of course, some doctors do communicate well with patients or work at the skill. But others don’t, as reflected in the large number of studies and personal stories about improving the doctor-patient relationship.
A recent example: Dr. Diane S. Morse at the University of Rochester hit a nerve last month with intense reaction nationally to her research in the Archives of Internal Medicine suggesting that physicians usually miss or ignore chances to express understanding and support.
She and her colleagues examined transcripts from recordings of consultations between doctors at a Veterans Affairs hospital and patients with lung cancer. They identified 384 opportunities for empathy when patients expressed concerns about death, symptoms or treatment options but found that physicians responded in only 10 percent of the moments.
In some cases, doctors failed to pick up on clues in their conversations with patients.
“I was doing a man’s labor, and I was always told I had a good strong heart and lungs. But the lungs couldn’t withstand all that cigarettes,” one patient told a physician in an attempt to discuss his smoking.
“Yeah,” the doctor said. “Asbestos and pollution and secondhand smoke and all these other things, I guess,” the patient said.
“Do you have glaucoma?” asked the physician, simply changing the subject.
Empathy, which means understanding a person’s plight yet remaining detached, is another way of describing bedside manner.
Doctors overestimate the amount of time and effort it takes to voice empathy, Morse said, suggesting that physicians start building a relationship in early encounters with patients to learn how best to handle bad news later.
“Patients hunger for physicians to hear their concerns in some way. It doesn’t necessarily have to take a lot of time, but doctors need to acknowledge them,” said Morse, an assistant professor of psychiatry and medicine.
Her findings are consistent with other studies and cannot be easily dismissed as a warm-and-fuzzy extra to the main task of providing medical care. Research also confirms what seems to make sense: that doctors who express empathy get the highest patient ratings and fewer complaints, as well as better compliance with treatment and better outcomes.
“Doctors need to know that when they break bad news, it’s a huge moment in a patient’s life. As soon as they say the word ‘cancer,’ a patient is probably not going to hear anything else,” said Hillary Ruchlin, executive director of the Cancer Wellness Center, a patient support group in Buffalo.
Even if everyone agrees that good bedside manner is desirable, it doesn’t make it easier to accomplish.
Relaying bad news is difficult. Few people are comfortable talking about death and dying. And empathy can take time that busy doctors often believe they don’t have.
Doctors also come with different skills and personalities. Some can naturally communicate like Olympic champion Michael Phelps swims. Others can barely dog paddle.
Patients are different, too. Some want their information direct. Others require a go-slow approach. Some will handle a diagnosis of cancer with poise. Others will wilt over a negative test result for a condition that isn’t fatal.
“It’s a situation no one wants, yet there needs to be some interaction. Physicians are people. They are not all stamped out of the same mold. Patients are different and bring with them emotional, family, religious and cultural issues,” said Dr. Michael A. Zevon, chairman of the department of psychosocial oncology at Roswell Park Cancer Institute.
To Zevon, the mistake is for physicians to treat breaking bad news as a single, pressure- filled moment when they should pay more attention to building trust with a patient over time. “If I have one message, it’s that this is a process and not an event,” he said.
One other problem is the tendency to rely too much on statistics, experts say.
Cancer patients want to know how long they have to live, and doctors will show them the published statistics. But survival statistics are based on averages of large populations, may be dated and may not take into account changes in treatments, said William R. Potter.
Potter, a Roswell Park researcher, gives lectures to medical students about what he describes as “detoxifying statistics.”
“We’ve been brainwashed about statistics and their ability to predict that a bad outcome will come true. But statistics are not individually predictive at the start of a diagnosis,” he said. “If a patient wants to know their chances, the only answer is that they have a life-threatening condition and will have to see how things come out.
“Statistical uncertainty is the place where hope resides.”
Empathy may be a quality that a person is or isn’t born with. But good communication skills can be taught. Many medical schools, including the University at Buffalo School of Medicine and Biomedical Sciences, have incorporated training programs.
UB’s is unusual for using cancer survivors as volunteers for role-playing exercises in which second-year students practice breaking bad news and receive feedback from the volunteers.
Such programs also teach the students guidelines they can use to help them navigate uncomfortable moments — everything from remembering to introduce themselves to periodically checking with the patients to make sure they understand what is being said.
Still, there is an unnerving quality even to the role-playing conversations. Patients cry. There are long silences. People ask questions for which the doctor-in-training doesn’t have good answers.
“You can’t BS a patient. You can’t make yourself sound as if you have all the answers,” Dr. Christopher P. Schaeffer, assistant professor of clinical medicine, told a group of students recently after their role-playing exercise.
If his lesson can be boiled down, it’s to search for the right words when relaying bad news and to give patients time to react, even if it means putting up with silence or leaving them alone to take in what they’ve heard.
“The doctor’s instinct is to move on, but that cuts people off while they’re having an emotional reaction,” Schaeffer said.
Despite the academic efforts, cultivating doctors with more empathy may be an uphill battle that conflicts with the organization of medical training.
A study published earlier this year in the journal Academic Medicine began with a question: Is there hardening of the heart during medical school? The conclusion was yes.
The researchers said students often lose empathy during medical school. The reasons, they said, could involve the stress and competition of medical school. The study also suggested that an unrealistic image of doctors as heroes in popular culture leaves the students with a view of their profession that’s cynical.
hdavis@buffnews.com
Cancer Wellness Center
Over 50 Magazine
8/25/08
By Carol S. Wolf
 Carol S. Wolf is married to her husband Dick for 45 years. She has 2 sons and 4 grandchildren. She is a writer, speaker, storyteller and leader of workshops and retreats. She is an Associate Spiritual Director at the St. Joseph Center for Spirituality and a member of the SUNYAB Spirituality in Healthcare Committee.
When I met with Hillary Ruchlin, Executive Director, she shared with me how 23 years ago she was the Patient Service Director of a National Health organization. She became aware of other cancer wellness programs around the country and met with the Executive Director of The Wellness Community in California. She said that at the time she was intrigued by these words and their whole concept of different programs, but financially, at this time, it was not possible to pursue in Buffalo.
The Wellness Community To cancer patients:
If you participate in your
Fight for recovery along with
Your health care team,
Instead of acting as a
Hopeless, helpless, passive
Victim of the illness, you will
Improve the quality of your
Life and just may enhance the
possibility of your recovery.
Harold Benjamin
Hillary said, “I carried that mission statement in my purse for 15 years. Every time I changed purses, it went in. So in 1999 I decided to give it a try. I left my position, obtained some funding and began the Cancer Wellness Center (CWC) in the basement of my home. One of the first programs we began was for medical students, How to deliver bad news. Then we started the Cancer Coach Program, which was developed by several people. By that time we were holding volunteer training in the United Way building, then we moved to Elmwood Avenue and now we are here at our new offices in Gateway Center, North Tonawanda.”
Hillary went on to say, “We had several people working together, mostly volunteers, then Pat Baia joined us as our Office Manager and she is the backbone of the organization. We have visited several other Cancer Wellness centers in the United States and Canada and learned a lot.”
Pat shared with me how she had worked for Hillary in her previous job, then she retired after Hillary left. “I intended to stay home,” she said, “but a few years later, Hillary called and offered me a job and since we always had such a great working relationship, I said yes. I love doing all the paper work, getting everything organized and documenting everything we do. Working with all the volunteers is great.”
Medical School Program
 Hillary explained the Medical School Program was their first program. She said, “I used to go to the medical school and talk to the students about the services that are available in the community for cancer patients. I would take some cancer survivor volunteers with me and I discovered the medical students were talking more to the cancer survivors than listening to what the resources were. I witnessed how the medical students were more interested in how these people were told the bad news. I was inspired to call the Medical School and said, ‘I think I have a program for you.’”
Hillary laughed as she told me, “At the time, a fleeting thought went through my mind: they don’t even know me. However, they were interested and directed me to a physician, to whom I explained that we could provide volunteers to help the medical students learn how to be compassionate in their approach to delivering the bad news, and he said fabulous.
”
I asked Hillary how the program worked and she explained. There are 24 medical students divided into groups of eight; they participate in three different segments.
1. A group simulates coming into the clinic and one of the medical students delivers the bad news to the cancer survivor. Then that person grades them on how they did. Were they compassionate in their approach, did they leave resources?, etc.
2. In the next segment the group will hear a physician talk about how difficult it is to tell bad news and how important it is for them to assess their own personalities in doing that.
3. “Then they come to me,” Hillary explained. “ I talk about experiences I have had in dealing with patients and what they have reported to me, what they liked and did not like. Then Bill Potter, a cancer research scientist from Roswell Park, talks about how medical students need to understand anything is possible in an individual situation. He is also treasurer for the organization.”
She said, “At the end of the hour, we all get back together and the volunteers each share their personal story of their journey with cancer. They are profound and this is an emotional time for each of them to relive their experiences, so it is important for them to also hear what the students think about this program and their experience going through it. The students always express their gratitude and thankfulness that they were willing to help them recognize how important it is to be compassionate and explain resources and options. It is a win-win situation.” She went on to say, “We never have a problem recruiting volunteers. This community is so willing to help others. Since we began, 1650 medical students have gone through the program.”
One of the medical school evaluations stated, “It’s already the best experience I’ve had in medical school so far. Thank you for this experience. Seeing real-life patients makes all the difference in the amount of knowledge we acquire. Thank you for this program.”
Cancer Coach Program
The Cancer Coach Program was developed to provide support, education and encouragement to cancer patients during their cancer experience. Often times during a time of illness, there is a breakdown of social networks and a sense of loneliness and isolation. This program provides immediate connection with someone who has “been there.” A cancer wellness coach is a cancer survivor. Hillary said, “These volunteers are incredible people. It is an honor for us to work with them. They have come through amazing obstacles and now are willing to encourage others.”
I asked Hillary what the difference is between their program and others in the area and she explained that the other organizations generally have support groups. She said, “This is a one on one meeting from day one of the diagnosis. The coaches go to them and help each person on their new journey. In a support group you have to be well enough to go to meetings. The cancer coach is available at any time to go anywhere. We have a diverse group of 95 volunteers who have recovered from a wide variety of cancers. If you want a coach or want to be a cancer coach, call 694-1395.”
Here is one team’s story:
Kit Howard and Mary Beth Minotti
 Kit graciously invited me to her home in East Aurora to talk with her and Mary Beth, since Mary Beth worked nearby at a nursing home. I settled down in the living room and joined them for a cup of tea. Kit shared with me that she was diagnosed with cancer 12 years ago. She said, “I told my husband, my school principal (in case he had to replace me), and my daughter, I told no one else. That was my way of dealing with it. I got through it and then three years ago was diagnosed again with a different kind of cancer. This time I told everybody in the world and I received awesome support. I felt it was a much better way of going through something like this. After I was doing well again, I saw an ad in the East Aurora Penny Saver about the Cancer Wellness Center and to call if you had been diagnosed with cancer and wanted someone to talk to or if you were a cancer survivor and wanted to help others cope. So I called and offered to be a Cancer Coach. I went through the training program and I have worked with sveral people and some still keep in contact. Then last year I was given Mary Beth’s name and I called and left a message that Hillary gave me her name and to call me.”
Mary Beth shared that she also saw an ad in the Penny Saver and called, talked to Hillary, and shortly afterward Kit called and left her cell number. They both laughed as they told me about their first conversation. Kit was shopping in a large noisy store with her daughter, who was going to have a baby. Kit said, “I found a corner and sat down among the cribs and we talked.” Mary Beth said, “I told her how I had just had my annual checkup and found out I had a small cancerous lump on my breast and would need surgery. Whenever I needed to ask questions or get together I just called and Kit was always there. I took six weeks off work, continued with radiation and Kit has been with me through everything. Now I am cancer free and we have become friends. We discovered we had so many things in common, flowers, tea and cats.”
Kit also shared with me how she loves participating in the Medical School Program. She said, “It is so very worthwhile. As a teacher, I can see the ah-ha moments of the medical students when you are interacting with them and they tell you the bad news and you have an opportunity to talk to them about how you felt, if they were compassionate, gave you resources, etc.”
Spirituality and Healing
Hillary said, “As time went on I recognized there needed to be another component on Spirituality and Healing. I was driving all over town talking to religious leaders about this kind of a program with no success. One day I was at Daeman College, I’m not even sure why, and I ran into Dr. Charles Sabatino and Dr. Cheryl Nosek and I happened to explain to them what I was looking for and they said, “We teach this, we’ll do this for you.” She said, “It was definitely divine intervention. At the time I thought they meant they would do it once and now here it is six years later and they are still doing it monthly. We generally have 50-60 people each month. Anyone is welcome to come.”
Dr. Charles Sabatino and Dr. Cheryl Nosek
 I had made arrangements to meet with Dr. Sabatino and Dr. Nosek at Daeman College prior to their afternoon class. Their classroom was already packed when I arrived. Dr. Sabatino shared with me how when they began doing this program it was because people thought they had something to say on spirituality and healing, since they teach a course on it. He said, “As it turned out, and this is why we love working with the Cancer Wellness program, we are the ones who have learned about spirituality and healing and we have learned about it from the struggles and the courage and the strength of the people who come to the sessions. We hear how so many people have managed to work through very difficult situations. That’s what spirituality is all about. The power to rise above situations and you define yourself and do not let the cancer define you. It is also maintaining a positive attitude when things don’t look so good. That is spirituality; and I have no doubt that it improves healing. I love doing it because were learning from them.”
“I come away from each program feeling energized,” Dr. Nosek said. “I feel so positive from the warm, uplifting group. It is unique because this group consists of patients who have cancer, the survivors, the families, caregivers, everyone with different experiences. They are so supportive of each other. I use the examples of the Cancer Wellness Center programs in most of my classes. We talk more about how much spirituality really does impact recovery from an illness and these people are living proof that spirituality has had a positive impact on their dealing with their illness.”
Cancer Wellness Center & Daemen College presents
SPIRITUALITY PROGRAMS FOR 2008-2009
November 12, 2008 - “ The Healing Power of Meditation & Tibetan Singing Bowls”
December 10, 2008 - “Gratitude, Forgiveness, Trust and Hope”
January 28, 2009 - “Strengthening The Will To Live”
March 4, 2009 - “How to Communicate with Family & Friends”
April 1, 2009 - “Care for the Caregiver”
May 6, 2009 - “How To Get From Fear to Hope”
Location:
Daemen College
4380 Main St.
Amherst, New York 14226
Wick Center, Alumni Lounge
Time: 6:30p.m. to 8:30 p.m.
Dr. Charles Sabatino and Dr. Cheryl Nosek will help explore ways to survive and eventually flourish when we are faced with obstacles in our life.
Please join us for a lively discussion and experience a time of renewal, connection and discover the power of your inner wisdom.
To register: Call the Cancer Wellness Center--716-694-1395 Free of charge
www.cancerwellnesscenter.org
For more information call:
Hillary Ruchlin, Executive Director
Cancer Wellness Center Gateway Center 84 Sweeney St. Ste. C-9
North Tonawanda, NY 14120
Phone: 716-694-1395
Cwc133@juno.com
www.cancerwellnesscenter.org
If you know of a successful program in your community or would like more information please let me know at caroldickwolf@cs.com.
Coaches share the path to cancer survival
Buffalo News
12/20/2005
By IRENE LIGUORI
News Staff
 Cancer survivors Bill Grossman and Betty Zimmerman are among 85 coaches who have stepped up at the Cancer Wellness Center.
Football coaches, Lamaze coaches, life coaches - sure, we know what those are. But coaches for cancer?
You could say that all the coaches from Buffalo's Cancer Wellness Center have definitely been to the game and back again. Now they strive to help others who find their worlds turned upside down by a bad biopsy.
Bill Grossman, 43, an attorney and father of two, is a six-year survivor of Hodgkin's Disease.
Barbara Bartle learned she had ovarian cancer just as comedian Gilda Radner died from it. She's now a 16-year survivor.
Bonnie L. Zimmerman, a former medical secretary who underwent breast cancer surgery in April, credits her upbeat attitude to a coach from the non-profit Cancer Wellness Center. Now she, too, has volunteered to be a coach.
Bartle, Grossman and Zimmerman are three of more than 85 cancer survivors who stand by to reach out and be matched with some of the 4,500 cancer patients diagnosed yearly in Western New York who might need them.
Cancer coaches can help make sense of what's happening after the doctor delivers the bad news that seems to signal the end of the world. They can provide moral support and sources of information, perhaps even accompany those they coach to treatment sessions.
"I wish I had known about the cancer coach program when I was going through my treatments," said Bartle, whose husband took extended periods of time off from his job to stay by her side during chemotherapy.
Coaches are living proof that there can be hope and happiness on the other side of the cancer battle.
"When people see that you - the coach - are healthy and vibrant, that means a lot," said Grossman.
Yet he remembers so well the day he learned he had cancer and how alone he felt, even though he had the loving support of friends and family all around him.
"Oh, my God, the world stops," Grossman recalls. "You think, "What am I going to do? Am I going to die?' "
Prior to his diagnosis, Grossman had experienced a strange pain radiating down his arm. He ignored the discomfort, thinking it was due to a pinched nerve. But the feeling never went away. In fact, he noticed it got even worse whenever he drank a beer.
His wife finally prodded him to visit the doctor, and a simple chest X-ray revealed that he had a tumor growing inside his chest.
Driving home from the doctor's, Grossman remembers feeling tumors in his neck for the first time. For the next nine months, everyday things he had once taken for granted - eating, sleeping, and going to the bathroom - were all affected by his cancer and his treatments.
Grossman says he emerged from the ordeal a better person. Now when he coaches a fellow cancer patient, he likes to share a favorite quote with them: "I am wounded, but not slain. Just let me lie here and bleed for awhile, and I will rise and fight again."
Hillary Ruchlin, executive director of the non-profit Cancer Wellness Center, says people have a natural tendency to shut down when they are told they have cancer.
They feel stunned and isolated. They don't necessarily want to talk to friends or family members, because they want to appear strong or to protect those who are close to them.
A trained cancer coach, Ruchlin says, can encourage people to participate in their treatment and take back control of their lives.
Sometimes, she said, people don't even know what they need until they are provided an opportunity to talk. A coach is there to listen.
It starts with a simple phone call, perhaps an invitation to meet for coffee. After that, the patient can use the coach as much or as little as needed.
Zimmerman already knew about the cancer coach program when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, because her husband is also a cancer survivor. She had casually picked up a flier from the Cancer Wellness Center during a visit to his doctor's office.
Then one morning during her shower, Zimmerman noticed an ominous lump and scheduled an appointment with her gynecologist, who scheduled a biopsy. While she was at work one day, a radiologist cold-called with the bad news, then matter-of-factly directed her to "call your breast surgeon."
Zimmerman was stunned.
Breast surgeon? She didn't know anyone to call. In the short time since her biopsy, Zimmerman's gynecologist had died in a freak accident. She certainly couldn't consult him.
Her cancer coach, an 8-year survivor of breast cancer, helped and encouraged her through some of the worst times. Now, Zimmerman says she just wants to give back and make the path smoother for other women facing breast cancer.
Bartle, who beat one of the deadliest cancers a woman can have, agrees with Zimmerman. "I figured if I did survive," she said, "I wanted to give hope to other people."
To find out more about the Cancer Coach Program, call (716) 694-1395 or visit www.cancerwellnesscenter.org.
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